Everyday Closure

“I was in such a rush, I didn’t take time to say thank you to the checkout person. I almost feel like I should go back in.”

“A co-worker made an offhand comment today that kind of hurt my feelings. Should I dredge this up again and give them the opportunity to apologize or just let it go?”

“I forgot to say ‘I love you’ to my daughter before she left for school this morning. It’s been eating at me all day.”

It’s only human to have an aversion to loose ends in communication, some of us feel these dangling loose ends much more intensely than others. We like to feel a sense of completeness in our communication with other people, the everyday moments like those I described as well as the major moments like a breakup for a family conflict. As the saying goes, we have an innate need to “cross every t, dot every i.” I would go as far as to say that the need for closure has helped to fuel the growth of customer surveys and review websites. One more opportunity to avoid those nagging lose ends. For those who want to communicate in their daily interactions, however casual, with kindness and compassion or, on the other hand, to stand up for themselves when they feel wronged, everyday closure may be very much on their minds.

The need for everyday closure can become a burden, causing you to constantly second guess yourself, to feel shameful, sad, angry. If so, it may be time to take a closer look at yourself. Is it time to shift your perspective regarding your place in the world and what is appropriate in your interactions with others? And is it time to consider some behavior changes?