Family

“My brother jumped in and made family reunion plans that don’t work for me. I need to talk with him about how I feel.”

“I’ve never gotten along very well with my mother and I need to have an honest conversation with her, and do some fence-mending, before it’s too late.”

“I said something very unkind to my sister. I need to ask for her forgiveness.”

Family relationships are often very complicated. While you may have deep affection and a long history with another family member, you may also be carrying baggage, memories, that have resulted in resentments that can easily get stirred up. We grow into adulthood, become self-supporting create our own families, but often find ourselves falling into old roles when we interact with the family we grew up with. This can be a reason for a good laugh, and bring you close to your family members, or this can be a source of frustration, sadness, anger. Not addressing family issues that arise can result in rifts that can lead to further damage over time. Couples often experience conflicts, differences of opinion, differences in expectations, that may lead to a need for closure, to bring an issue to light, ask or offer forgiveness as needed, and find the path forward.

I often talk with clients about how to find closure with family members, siblings and parents, and their partners. While these conversations can be difficult, the alternative, breakdowns in communication, can lead to further anger and resentment, but also guilt and shame, withholding behavior, conflict. Finding closure builds bridges between humans, and strengthens relationships.

Dr. Gary McClain is an educator, psychotherapist, relationship coach, and author with a practice in New York City. The focus of his practice is adults in transition –  romantic and family relationships, health and caregiving, work and career, and loss and grief. Effective communication, difficult conversations, and closure are topics that he frequently explores with his clients.

Do you have a question about finding closure? Dr. Gary can help.