Friendship

“I am really disappointed by what he did. I need some closure around this if we are going to remain friends.”

“All these years and she suddenly doesn’t have time for me? Can’t we talk about this so I know what I did wrong?”

“I just feel like we don’t have much to offer each other anymore. I need to let them know why I am backing out of the annual get-together.”

We don’t choose our family but we choose our friends. Some friendships endure over the years, some don’t. And like any relationship, friendships take attention, and effort, if they are going to endure over time. Some friends are super supportive, always there for you, others kind of slip away during your moment of greatest need. Friends sometimes hurt or disappoint each other, intentionally or unintentionally. And sometimes friends naturally grow apart. Being in a friendship provides many opportunities for seeking closure. All too often, we often avoid these conversations, due to fears of being vulnerable to each other, of asking too much, or a desire to not have to feel the emotions that might come up. When we avoid closure with a friend, we risk losing out on an opportunity for growth, as friends and as individuals.

As with any conversation around seeking closure, attempting to find closure with a friend is risky, it may lead to growth, it may lead to disappointment or conflict, or it may lead to separation. It often comes down to choosing what is most uncomfortable, the conversation itself or the potential consequences of not seeking closure.