Each and every day presents us with an opportunity, or many opportunities, for closure. As well as for closure that goes unfulfilled.
You might also be thinking “Hmmm… I never thought of that in terms of closure.” That’s because we kind of take closure for granted. The need for closure often happens on an unconscious level, in the form of validation. We give it, we receive it. We don’t necessarily take the time to question how to validate another person, nor do we take the time to consider whether we have been validated. Validation is just part of our daily routine as we interact in the world. Feeling validated, even if we are unaware of it, brings a smile, provides us with a sense of normalcy, along with evidence that the world is safe and welcoming.
Whoops! That is until we feel we haven’t been validated when we should have been. A service person is distracted, unhelpful, neglects to say thank you. Has this happened to you lately?
So, everyday invalidations, accompanied by the need for closure. You might just roll your eyes at a disgruntled checkout clerk at your grocery store, and assume they are having a bad day. Or you may decide to go back and calmly, or not so calmly, let them know how disrespected you feel, or tell their manager. You may be tempted to let them know how impolite they are. Give them a piece of your mind.
You might also have had the experience of encountering a really upbeat and kind clerk. But you were in such a hurry you grabbed your purchase and dashed to your car. You leave the store and then on the way to your car, suddenly realize that the clerk said thank you and gave you a big smile, and you ignored them. Yes, you may have invalidated them. And you feel kind of shameful about that. You know that if you drive off without going back in and saying thank you, you will feel a nagging bad feeling all day. Or you may vow to return and tell them how appreciated they are the next time you shop there, or resolve to be friendlier the next time.
Tie up that need for closure left hanging. One way or another; Sure, it’s a small one, but it may have had a big impact on you, or you may be concerned it had a big impact on the other person.
Yup. Closure.