Caution: Be Prepared to Walk Away From Closure
Your ex may be willing and able to have an honest conversation about what went wrong in your relationship. You may have the opportunity to speak your mind, and express your feelings, and hear the thoughts and feelings of your ex. And to walk away with a feeling of resolution, ready to move on to the next chapter in your romantic life. That is ideal closure. Sometimes we get this closure, sometimes we don’t.
Asking for closure is making yourself vulnerable to the other person at a time when, as a result of the breakup, you may already be feeling very vulnerable. Asking for closure can be an act of bravery and empowerment. But if you find the other person is unwilling to talk in spite of your requests, or if you feel you are setting yourself up for more emotional abuse, it may be time to walk away. Of course, this can be frustrating if you need closure, and feel you deserve it. Closure requires both individuals to be willing to come together with open minds and open hearts. Not everyone is willing or able to have the closure conversation.
You know the person you are no longer in a relationship with. Listen to your emotions and listen to your rational mind. You will know when it’s time to attempt to find closure, and you will know when it’s time to walk away.
Hard truth: Sometimes the only closure you will get after a breakup is to accept that you won’t get closure. Acceptance is empowering!
Also, keep in mind that closure can provide some peace of mind, the knowledge that you wrapped up the relationship in a way that provided mutual understanding and tied up loose ends But the pain of loss does not magically go away. You will still need time to grieve after the loss of your relationship.