My clients often talk to me about how the need for closure can arise at random times during the day. I am going to give you a couple of examples that may strike a chord with you.
A client talked to me about how he was trying to show more kindness to people that he encounters during the day. Family members, co-workers, neighbors, as well as people in service roles. He feels this is an important step in his growth as a human being, as well as being important in helping the world around him to be a better place. Admirable goals.
He is also a very busy person, an important detail about him to include.
He told me a story about running into to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription on his lunch hour. There were a couple of people ahead of him in line, and he had a meeting he needed to get to. When it was finally his turn, the pharmacy tech was someone he had encountered in the past. She said hi to him, and asked how he was doing. He recalled not being especially friendly, given his stress about getting back to his meeting.
She gave him his prescription. He turned and left.
Later in the day, he thought about this encounter. He felt like he had violated his own resolution to be kinder to people to provide services, like the pharmacy tech. He felt bad that he had been so short with her, leaving without a few simple words of gratitude.
“I think I need closure here,” he said, “because our interaction doesn’t feel complete to me.”
When I asked him what complete meant to him, he said “a smile and a thank you would have felt complete. So how do I find closure here?”
We brainstormed on how he might find closure in this situation. Giving her a wave the next time he is in the store. Making sure he is friendly the next time he picks up a prescription. Maybe even letting the store manager know how nice she is to do business with.
He felt better after we talked about what he could do to achieve closure here. He had a loose thread that was in conflict with the way he had chosen to be in the world. Closure helped him to continue to achieve his resolution to spread kindness. What about you? As humans, we like interactions with others to feel complete. When we feel an interaction is not complete, we may f